Presently, I am in a big dilemma of choosing between a full-time job and continue being a stay-at-home mom. My mind says just grab the job opportunity while my heart says just be with your daughter and see her grow and marvel at her actions. Whenever I find myself in such kind of perplexing situation I discuss with people who can help me to get out of it and suggest a way out. I also do talk to my inner-self, which gives me strength and provides confidence to move forward. Some decisions are taken best when you use your sixth-sense; I have tried this several times.
While doing the analysis of the choices that lies in front of me, I have reached to the following advantages and disadvantages of me taking up the full-time job and leaving my child at her nani’s place.
Increase in self-confidence and self-worth: The feeling you get when you dress-up and step out of home for work is incredible. When you hold that laptop bag on your shoulder, it instantly gives you a feeling of self-worth; you feel that you are more than a home-maker.
An identity of your own: When you work, you create an identity of your own. Usually, a woman who works is considered more powerful and is given more respect in the society.
Self-dependent: A monthly credit is done in your salary account, which is your hard earned-money. This money can be saved for future expenses if you are not required to spend it for monthly house-hold expenses. A working woman is not considered a dependent on his husband; instead she becomes his strong support in case of difficult times.
Contributing to the family and to the nation: When a woman works, not only she contributes to her family but she also gives her contribution to the economy.
Meet new people: At office, you get to meet new people. In life, everyone has something to teach us. Some relations are confined in the office premises while some reaches to unofficial meetings during weekend.
Not answerable to anyone: You can buy things for yourself and for others without giving any explanation to anyone. Apart from planning the dinner menu at home, you can equally take part in planning your financial life with your partner.
Less fights, more love: When both partners are working, both are busy in their work. No more complaints and fights for waiting for each other. They understand each other’s demanding jobs and look forward to weekend for breaks and dates.
Personality development: Your overall personality improves when you experience the world outside your home. You leave your comfort zone behind when you get out of your home to work. You learn new skills. Each passing day add on something to your personality and makes you a new ‘You’.
Role model: At any stage of your professional life, you can inspire the other person and become her role model.
Distance from daughter: The most difficult and painful thing is distance from your child. Though her nani is there to look after her but I will not be there with her all the time, I will miss the pleasure of witnessing the various milestones of her growth. I will not be her primary teacher; I will get to see her on weekends only. 🙁
Two regular jobs: Managing home and office together is not an easy thing. A woman does two duties when she goes for work. This trend needs to be broken now. Why can’t men help us in doing the household work, ‘equally’?
I will be perceived as a selfish person: People’s reaction when I told them that I want to join office- Oh… she’s just 1 year old, she’s too small… you should be with her all the time at least till she turns two. You’ve already taken a break of 1.6 years, wait for some more time. Your career is not important. When I tried explaining my viewpoint, some understood while some dint. I know they must be thinking of me as a selfish person but I know what is right for me and my baby. She’s in safer hands.
Most of you must have also faced such situation. How did you deal with it?
This article was originally published here.