William Shakespeare said this statement but I heard it first from the CEO of the company I used to work with, before becoming a mommy. At that time, I did not pay much attention to this but now I truly and fully agree to this thought.
Take any relation, from your blood relation to mere acquaintance; when they fail to fulfill your expectation you become disheartened, it leaves a hole in your heart and you frown in anger. But what can be done to soothe that burnt heart. There’s only one solution to that problem – Lower the expectations or rather I would say… just zero your expectations of others.
Yes, you read that right. “ZERO EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS”.
I know it’s very difficult to expect this from yourself. Again EXPECTATION. This is our human nature; anything that we do, we do it with some purpose in mind, we need some outcome, some output from it and when we don’t get as expected, we get frustrated, and that frustration makes us feel bad about ourselves, we feel miserable and detached from the world around us.
We have uncountable expectations from everyone and everything around us. The list is endless.
1. Your kids should hold some rank in school exams/ clear IITs/IIMs (if it’s not achieved, this is not the end of their life)
2. Your wife should cook tasty meals every time or dinner should be cooked before you come from office (do remember, she’s busier than you, she has got ‘n’ number of tasks at home)
3. Your husband should reach home on time from office (he’s got life, let him breath with his office friends and chilled beer)
4. Your boss should have promoted you during annual appraisal (remember, he’s the biggest player in the office politics, many factors are considered before taking any decision)
5. Your salary should be ‘X’ (do not compare; be content of what you get otherwise think of something to generate passive income; look for other better options)
6. Your client should approve your work in one go (she just can’t because she also needs to use her grey cells while giving remarks to your work)
7. Your husband should watch some romantic movie instead of that boring cricket match (let him enjoy that match, he also needs some ‘me’ time)
8. Your wife should entertain kids every time (No, join her in pampering kids in whatever way possible)
9. Your mother-in-law should love you like your mother (remember, no one can love you like your mother; it’s the bitter truth)
10. Your mother-in-law should take care of your child while you rejoin office (everyone is not that lucky)
11. Your husband should have noticed your new hair cut (how come it’s feasible, they even forget trimming their nose hair)
12. Your friend should have called you on your birthday/anniversary (Did you?)
13. Your partner should understand your feelings (every time, it’s not possible)
14. Your partner should automatically support you in everything you do (it’s very unfair to think like that, he/she might have different views, do pay heed to his/her point of view)
15. He should pamper you like he’s used to do before marriage (with time every person changes, and matures, do take note of new things that he does for you and family)
16. Maids should switch on the fan after mopping the floor (stand up and switch it on yourself, it takes only few seconds)
17. The blog post you wrote with much hard work should garner good interaction (everyday is not your lucky day)
18. You should shed that extra inches (Keep calm and have that last slice of Pizza with extra cheese)
19. The cake you baked should come out as expected (if not, bake again because practice is what makes things perfect)
20. The clothes/shoes you ordered online should be of perfect fit (if not, read the return policy carefully before buying anything online)
21. Life should be easy (Oh lord… it is the biggest BITCH)
So, the root of all heartache is this –> SHOULD. Let’s just remove this word from your dictionary and life would be much better and happier.
“Learn to love without condition. Talk without bad intention. Give without any reason. And most of all care for people without any expectation.”
(I don’t know who wrote these words)
While in the process of lowering your expectations of others, always do remember this also – “You can’t base your life on other people’s expectations”, (as quoted by Stevie Wonder); so you’re not doing any favor to anyone, rather you’re doing this for your own sake, for your happiness.
The moral of the story is “Live and Let Live”. Let’s make each other’s life easier and happier.
5 Expectations to let go… Right NOW! (Especially for the mommies)
• Everyone should like me (neither you like everyone)
• Husband should do everything as expected (he’s not a robot)
• Spotless and organized home (because you’re not a robot)
• Perfectly behaved kids (obviously, they too are ‘not robots’)
• You can have it all (you just cannot)
Try to ‘go with the flow’ and ‘meditate’.
Take care of your body and mind. This will give you ‘inner-happiness’.
This article was originally published here.